Social Skills Toolkit
Strong social skills are essential for workplace success. Whether you’re starting a new job or looking to build better relationships with your coworkers, effective communication and interpersonal skills can help you navigate the workplace more smoothly.
This resource will serve as your toolkit that will provide you strategies for making connections, working well with others, and thriving in a professional environment.
6 Tips for Success in Your First Week
- Say hello to your coworkers. Be friendly. Build meaningful connections from day one.
- Set yourself up for success. Prepare yourself and your workspace so you can work efficiently.
- Learn from others. Ask questions and absorb new information.
- Work with a mentor. Find out who at your job can help you if you need support.
- Company culture. Figure out how your company does things, how everyone communicates, and what they care about.
Understand your manager’s expectations. Finish your week with a check-in to find out how you’re doing and share any questions or concerns you may have.
Build Connections With Your Coworkers
Building connections doesn’t have to mean you’re best friends with coworkers. It does mean working well together and maybe even enjoying it. Good work relationships have four key elements:
- Mutual respect. You value each other’s skills, experience, and opinions.
- Trust. You believe in the character, ability, and strength of others.
- Openness. You accept that your ideas are not always right and that other people’s ideas have merit, even when they’re challenging your ideas.
Fair idea exchange. Every voice has a turn, and every voice has weight. The group is inclusive—and no group or viewpoint has more value than others.
How to Build Work Connections
Where you’re a social butterfly or an introvert, you can build rewarding relationships at work. Here are some techniques for making connections with coworkers.
Build Connections
Build a connection between you and your coworkers. This will require you to plan, and it will take time—but it will save you time and trouble in the long run. That’s because connections can help you overcome hurdles and reach goals.
Here are some tips for building bridges with coworkers.
- Take a break – Take a chance and accept or give an invitation. Join others for lunch, coffee, or just a chat in the break room.
- Start a conversation – Poke your head into a colleague’s office and say hello, ask about someone’s weekend, or invite someone to walk around the block.
- Be yourself – Don’t hide who you are—people value authenticity. If you’re a comic book nerd or obsessed with your pet guinea pig, let it be part of your work personality.
- Join a group – Are there any clubs or social media groups at work? Give one of them a try. You don’t have to do it forever. But it might help you make friends and get to know your team better.
Show Courtesy
This next technique is to be as thoughtful as you can. Showing courtesy to your coworkers makes them think positively of you and trust you. You can be thoughtful toward one person at a time. You can also be thoughtful toward people as a group.
Here are a few general ways to show courtesy to your team.
- Be on time – Show others that their time matters by being respectful to it.
- Do good work – Be the person your team can rely on to deliver excellence.
- Honour commitments – If you say you can, then do it. Be realistic with yourself to avoid commitment.
Notice and honour – If someone is kind or helpful to you, thank them. Be specific and clear so that the person knows you are genuine.
Encourage Delight
Encouraging delight means making other people feel appreciated. Think of how nice it is when someone brings you your favourite coffee, remembers your favourite hobby, or congratulates you for doing your job well. Take the time to do this with your coworkers. Delight them by showing that you remember, support, and value them.
Here are some suggestions on encouraging delight with your teammates.
- Remember names – Names matter to people. Make an effort to remember everyone’s name.
- Show real interest – Listen carefully and ask follow-up or clarifying questions.
- Help others – If you see someone in need, don’t wait to be asked for help, volunteer.
- Give support – Notice when others struggle. Cheer them on or back them up.
A few things you don’t remember that will prevent you from making connections. It’s best to avoid these actions.
- Complaining: It’s okay to give feedback in a respectful way. However, complaining about things without having an idea for a solution can be hard on everyone. Try to stay positive even when things are tough and ask for support if you need it.
- Oversharing: Be yourself. You were hired because you bring something unique to the company and your role. However, be aware that anything you share about yourself becomes public. Only share personal stories that are relevant and only if you want to.
Gossiping: You can share stories about yourself, but not about others. Even if everyone knows that person, the story is theirs to share, not yours. Talking about others is called gossip and often it isn’t true. Most importantly, it breaks trust and harms relationships.
Ask for Help at Work
Asking for help can be hard. For some, it feels unnatural and we avoid it at all costs. Others ask questions early and often. Ideally, we strike a balance between the two.
Why Should We Ask for Help?
As a new employee, it’s normal to have questions. That’s not a bad thing. Seeking help is a sign of strength and a desire to succeed.
- Efficiency – Try the most obvious solutions first, but you’ll go faster if you ask for help when you’re stuck.
- Networking – Asking for help builds a strong network of allies. Working together on a solution to a problem builds camaraderie.
- Flattering others – People like being asked for help. It shows them you recognize their unique skills and value their expertise. In short, it’s a compliment. And when you genuinely compliment someone, they like you more.
- Showing initiative – When you ask for help the right way, it shows your manager you own the problem and want to succeed.
When to Ask for Help
Just because you can ask for help doesn’t mean you should. It’s important to know when to ask for help, so the experience is positive for everyone.
- Try solutions independently – Before asking for help, try a few solutions yourself. Note what you tried so you know what doesn’t work, and prepare to share that with anyone who helps you.
- Don’t be a martyr – In other ways, you don’t want to struggle so long on a project that your manager thinks you’ve wasted time. Give it your best shot—but don’t sacrifice efficiency for pride.
- Steer clear of danger – In other ways, you don’t want to struggle so long on a project that your manager thinks you’ve wasted time. Give it your best shot—but don’t sacrifice efficiency for pride.
Remember! Three is a magic number. To find the sweet spot of when to ask for help—try three solutions on your own before you ask anyone to lend a hand.
Task-by-Task Guide When Asking for Help
Knowing when to ask for help is more art than science. However, there are some common tasks to try when you’re stuck or learning something new.
Let these tasks guide you in the art of asking for help.
- Choose your resources wisely – Broadcasting your needs to the entire team might undermine your credibility. Instead, choose one or two people with the expertise to help you. Try not to rely too much on one person. Instead, choose different helpers based on their availability and skills.
- Come prepared – When you ask for help, be ready to describe what you’ve done so far. Come prepared with a few ideas that you haven’t tried, and be ready to discuss them. This way your helper can point out a course of action without wasting time suggesting what you’ve already tried.
- Be specific – Respect your helper’s time by asking targeted questions. Be specific and precise about what you want to achieve.
- Take notes – It’s fun to help someone once. It’s a chore to help them repeatedly with the same task. Take notes so you don’t have to ask again.
- Implement your new skill – If possible, try to do what you learned again, this time by yourself. Repetition is the best way to lock in new knowledge. If you don’t have a real reason to try it again, try it as a “test” to reinforce what you learned.
Be an Effective Teammate!
A strong team relies on its members to contribute effectively. Here’s how you can be a great team player:
- Advocate for you – What are your unique skills? What are your limits? Define this for yourself and tell others. This will help you protect your time and use your skills wisely.
- Say “Yes” – Accept new challenges and assignments. Just remember not to take on too much—it’s OK to say “No” if you’ve reached your limit or a task feels like a bad fit.
- Stay open – Share honestly and don’t get attached to ideas. Recognize that ideas—even yours—are imperfect. Don’t demand that team members accept your ideas. Be open to other people’s ideas.
- Share credit – Celebrate others and their unique contributions. Generosity makes everyone feel good.
- Take responsibility – Do what you say you will, on time. If you mess up, that’s OK. Own it, make any changes necessary, and move on.
- Clean the sink – There’s no such thing as “That’s not my job” on a team. Roll up your sleeves and pitch in anywhere you’re needed. If the sink is dirty, clean it.
- Practise courtesy – If someone talks to you, pay attention to them—not at your files, phone, or computer. Wait until a meeting is done before you pack your bag. Say thank-you and smile. In short, be polite and kind.
- Assume the best – Assume others have your and your team’s best interests at heart—even if you disagree. And assume the best of yourself. Remember that you can grow, change, and learn from others.
Social skills are key to success at work. By making strong connections, being professional, and asking for help when needed, you create a positive and productive work environment. Use this toolkit to improve how you communicate and collaborate with others.